GiftCurse
by passion8
Summary: Curiosity killed the cat...and Coco finds that satisfaction won't bring it back. As she finds out more and more about the demon world, Coco is faced with choices she never thought she'd had to make. Previously TheSecretKeeper KuramaXOC
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or any of its characters._

_Summary: After meeting a young demon boy at age eight, Coco became curious about the demon world and all of its dark mysteries. But what happens when she becomes too involved? KuramaXOC._

_Note: The little demon boy is not Yoko Kurama. Just thought you should know.  
_

_Please read! Thank you!_

* * *

I refuse to be ignorant. I refuse to be some pawn in a game carried out behind the curtains that separate us from them. Curtains that I once peeked through, when I was a young and blind.

There are no curtains now, between me and them.

Sometimes I wish there was.

* * *

Coco met him when she was young, and had only a few entries in her diary to keep the memory of him alive.

**August 13th**

_ I saw a boy today. He was gray and he smelled like fish. All the kids ran away from him at the park, but I didn't. I stayed. We had lots of fun together. Then I went home. I told mommy and daddy about him, but they didn't listen. They were too busy yelling at each other._

_** August 15th** _

_ The boy was at the park again. I asked him what was his name? I told him mine was Coco. He said his was Roka. That's a weird name. He looked tired. He said he was going to take a nap. I played with his hair. He had little horns on his head. I tugged at them until he woke up and told me to stop. I asked him why he had horns? He said because he's a demon. I think that means monster. But I said he didn't look like a monster, he looked like a ordinary little boy. He said he wasn't. He doesn't look like a monster though._

_** August 20th** _

_ I went to the park everyday, but I didn't see him. Where'd he go? I miss him. He's my only friend. Everyone else is mean to me. They say I look funny._

_** August 22th** _

_ I went to the lake. Roka was there! He was swimming in the water. He looked like a fish. We swam together, but then mommy called me and I had to go. I made him promise that he'd be there tomorrow._

The last entry was written nearly two years later:

**_ August 23th _**

_ Roka said he was going away. He was going to an island called Japan. I didn't want him to go. He said that I should go with him. But I knew mommy wouldn't let me, so I said no. He said to come anyway, when I grew up. I promised him I would. _

_ I'm going to miss Roka. One day I'm going to see him Japan, and then we'll play Marco Polo again._

* * *

When Coco turned eighteen, she knew exactly what she was going to do. She was going to leave her home in the States and live in Japan for a year to study art. A scholarship would cover most of the costs; the rest of the money she had earned herself by working hard for the last two years. For once, money wouldn't be a problem for her. The only thing she had left to face was her mother.

Coco's mother was overprotective and stubborn. She wanted her daughter to attend the local college and earn enough money to support the family. She viewed her daughter's passion for drawing as transient and useless. Being her mother, she knew that Coco often jumped from one thing to another, rarely sticking with one passion for very long. So when Coco approached her mother with her plan to attend a college in Japan for a year, her mother barely paid attention, choosing instead to concentrate on cooking dinner.

"Mother, are you listening? I'm going to Japan." Coco repeated.

"Yes, yes, I'm listening." her mother said distractedly, bending over to grab a large pot. "Would you skin the potatoes for me?"

Coco sighed and did as she was asked in silence. Her mother thought that would be the end.

But Coco was persistent, and with each passing day she talked more and more about her plan. It made her mother nervous, and soon she started to snap in response to any mention of Japan. She tried to distract her daughter from this silly dream by talking of the local college, or even better, suggesting that she apply to Harvard or some other prodigious school. Whenever she did however, Coco would vehemently shake her head.

"I'm going to Japan." she always said.

And then suddenly Coco had bought her ticket, and her room was empty save for boxes of her things. On the night before Coco left, her mother stood in the doorway. She remembered doing the same thing years before, when her daughter was only a little girl in a crib. Just like before, she stroked her daughter's face. In her sleep, Coco turned her face away from her mother, who had to bite back tears at the gesture. It seemed as if Coco was determined to run from the safety of her home, even if it broke her mother's heart.

"But you'll be back," her mother whispered into the darkness. She bent her head and pressed her palm against Coco's cheek. "You'll be back."

* * *

Of course, Coco wanted to leave for Japan for another reason, a far more important one than for the study of art. Even after ten years, she could not forgot Roka. She thought of him constantly, and she had long ago reached the conclusion that he wasn't human. The idea didn't scare as much as it should have. Truth was, she was intrigued. Curious. He had told her that he was a demon. How could such a thing really exist? Were there other demons? She needed to find answers.

Her plan could have been seen as impulsive and reckless, but the way Coco viewed it, it seemed like a reasonable thing to do. She believed in her childhood memory of Roka even though she could barely remember his face. The answers to all her questions were in Japan, she could feel it, just like she could feel a pimple on her back but could never see it.

So Coco kissed her tearful mother good-bye and she hugged her younger brother. She gazed into their faces, memorizing their smiles, their big eyes, and the feel of their hands grabbing her arms. She then pulled her arms away and left, and didn't dare to look back.

"We'll be here when you come back!" her mother cried.

Thing was, Coco wasn't sure if she was ever going to return.

* * *

_Author's Note: I know there's no Kurama yet, but don't worry, he'll show up. Constructive criticism welcome! Thanks for reading_.


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or any of it's characters. _

_I want to say thank you for the reviews I've received! I really appreciated them. They made me jump up and down and clap my hands._

_Note - there was a small change in the diary entries presented in the first chapter. The last diary entry was written two years after the first. It's a small thing really, nothing too important.  
_

_Enjoy_!

* * *

Coco stood completely alone, lost in a sea of yellow grass. She was tired and hot. The glare of the sun made her uncomfortable and irritable. She looked out at the expansive field and let out a weary sigh. All she wanted to do was sink into the grass and sleep, but she had to move on.

The young woman turned her head up toward the sky, seeing nothing but a stretch of blue. She waited without knowing what exactly what she was waiting for.

"Roka...are you here?" her voice trembled.

There was no answer. Coco suddenly smiled to herself, a humorless, cold smile, and she looked away from the sky. What was she waiting for? If she wanted to find Roka, she had to go looking for him herself.

And so she moved through the field, breaking through the brittle grass. Pebbles found their way into her shoes and thorns scratched at her bare ankles, but she trudged on, determined. She walked without knowing where she was going.

* * *

Coco had few memories of Roka. Time had worn them away, and so when she found him dead on the grass, his eyes wide open but seeing nothing, she could only stare. He looked so different than the little boy she had known in her childhood. His skin was covered in gray scales, shining in the moonlight, and where his ears should have been there were fins. There was webbing between his still fingers and bare toes. She wrinkled her nose at the smell of dead fish.

Night was settling. She stood there in the glade, looking down at the body. Now that she had found him, she wasn't sure what to do. He wasn't supposed to be dead – he was supposed to be her link! Through him she had hoped to find out more about the strange world, invisible to most, full of mysteries she couldn't even imagine!

The moment she thought it, she felt guilty. Roka had been her friend once, and for that she was thankful. She owed him her tears. Coco cautiously knelt besides him. In the dark, with his mouth hanging open, he looked as if he would jump up any minute, as if he were just playing dead. But after looking closer, she knew that wouldn't happen. Dots of black blood were splattered over his face and neck. It seeped into the ground beneath him, staining the grass.

"What happened to you?" she whispered.

Coco had no time to inspect him further, for she could hear voices in the darkness. She retreated into the shadows of the trees, carefully dragging Roka's body with her. His skin was dry and harsh to the touch.

As the voices became clearer Coco covered her mouth to keep from being heard. For a second she placed her other hand over Roka's mouth, and then she pulled it away. The realization slapped her then; this young boy would never breathe again, never talk, never laugh, never smile. She pressed her face against the bark, muffling the cry in her throat.

The voices were closer now, and Coco struggled to remain quiet, her nose still pressed against the rough bark. She then realized it was just one voice, low and soft. A male figure appeared in the glade, his face in shadow. She could see that he was holding a cell phone to his ear.

He suddenly paused, something on the ground catching his eye. Coco stilled in response and watched him with wide eyes.

"I'm going to have to call you back mother." she heard him say before slipping the cell phone into his pocket. He sank into a crouch and snatched up a blade of grass.

His eyes suddenly darted in her direction. Coco instinctively leaned closer to Roka's body, hoping to conceal it from the man's gaze. She could hear the blood in her ears, her breath coming out irregularly. The sound was so loud, she was sure he could hear her.

The man slowly rose and faced her. In the bright moonlight his face looked as if it were carved from marble. His soft smile, meant to comfort, didn't quite reach his eyes.

"You might as well come out. I can see you." he said kindly.

Coco could think of nothing to say, so she just narrowed her eyes at him and refused to respond.

With a soft sigh, he began to walk towards her. When he took his first step, Coco rose and stood before the body as if to protect it. She wanted to speak but she could not grasp the words.

He paused. "There's no need to be afraid. I only want to help."

Coco stood still with uncertainty. Eventually she nodded and stepped away from Roka. The man walked up to the body, his face expressionless. She turned away, unable to look.

"Did you see what happened?" he asked her, his face hidden behind thick, long hair.

Coco shook her head, feeling as if she were in a dream. Then something in her snapped, bringing her back to reality. She eyed the strange man intently.

"Why aren't you freaking out?" she asked him suddenly. "Doesn't this scare you?"

He gave her a wry smile. "I should be asking you the same question." he said. "I assume that you've seen a demon before."

Coco paused. "He was my friend." she told him.

"I see." he said. "I'm terribly sorry for your loss."

"Thank you." she said politely. There was a long pause. She felt as if she were slipping back into a dream again. "I'm not sure what to do with the body."

"We'll have to burn it." he said.

Coco stood aside as the man quickly prepared a fire. Her eyes were unfocused; she was lost in her own thoughts, all rushing together until she couldn't make sense of them. Eventually she closed her eyes and just waited. It was all she could do for now.

"It's ready." he finally said.

"Thank you."

They stood side by side, watching the flames grow larger and larger, engulfing the small body. Coco felt as if she should cry but all she could do was watch. She could feel his eyes on her but she never looked away from the roaring flames.

"What's your name?" she asked him later, much later, when the body was unrecognizable and just a misshapen thing in the heart of the fire.

"Call me Minamino." he said. "What is yours?"

"Coco."

"Thank you Minamino." she said to him afterwards. They were walking away from the glade, returning to the city after a long night.

"You are welcome."

* * *

_Author's Note: This took me forever to write! It was so frustrating, but I'm glad I got it done. Let me know if you have any questions. Thanks!  
_

_The next chapter should be up soon. _

_Hopefully_.


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or any of it's characters. But I can dream. _

_Note: Read and enjoy!  
_

* * *

Coco was exhausted, but could not sleep. The kind young man had walked her home and left hours before. She now sat in her bed, her blanket wrapped round her shoulders, reading her old journal in the dim light of the outside street lamp. Her roommate snored softly in her sleep, oblivious to the other girl's turmoil.

_August 20__th_

_Dear Diary,_

_I went to the park everyday, but I didn't see him. Where'd he go? I miss him. He's my only friend. Everyone else is mean to me. They say I look funny. _

Tears pooled in her eyes. The memory of being teased and taunted still hurt after all those years. Her lips were too big, her nose was flat, and her hair was wild and curly. As she grew older, her differences became more noticeable, but because of Roka's acceptance of her, she survived the cruel jokes and the cold stares, critical and unforgiving. She wasn't sure if she could have been happy with her body, or herself, had she not met him. A tear slid down her cheek and dropped to the paper, smearing the ink there.

When the sun rose Coco finally sank into sleep, the tears drying on her face.

* * *

"What's wrong with you?" her roommate asked her, making a face at the other girl.

Coco shrugged from her spot on the bed. "Nothing's wrong." she said distantly, eyes sliding away to stare into space.

"Whatever." her roommate, a thin Asian girl named Hana, plopped onto her bed and listened to her CD player. Coco could hear the loud, pounding music of drums clashing with guitar. She sighed and turned away, looking out the window behind her.

Coco eventually pulled out her notebook. She needed to clear her head of the thousands of questions that ran through it. After seeing Roka's body, she knew for certain that he wasn't human. So was he a demon, like he had claimed? She rapidly tapped her pencil against the paper.

_"I assume that you've seen a demon before." _he had said.

That brought her to even more questions. How did _he_ know about these creatures? Were there more? How many? Where?

Coco groaned and rubbed her temples. She suddenly threw aside the notebook and quickly dressed, paying little attention to what she pulled on. She waved good-bye to her roommate, who continued to nod her head to the deafening music.

Outside it was surprisingly cold, and she instantly regretted pulling on a summer dress. She was too stubborn to go back inside, so she folded her arms for warmth and began to cross the street. A young man was on the other side, his red hair long and thick, and his eyes a mysterious green. Coco barely glanced at him.

"Hello Coco-san." he said just as she was about to pass him by. She halted and looked at him in surprise.

"Do I know you?" his voice sounded familiar...

He smiled. "It's Minamino, remember?"

Her eyes widened with recognition. "Oh, right, sorry. I didn't really see your face before."

"It's all right." he said. She took a second look at him; he was unnaturally pretty, and his hair almost made him look like a girl. His green eyes were like glass and no matter how hard she tried she couldn't see through them.

"Are you human?" she asked him, her voice lowering.

He looked surprised for a moment. "Yes. Why do you ask?"

Coco carefully studied his face. "Because of last night."

Comprehension dawned on him. "You're still wondering why I wasn't surprised by the demon."

_Demon. _The word didn't suit Roka. It brought up the image of some savage monster, its face twisting horribly as it snarled, not the image of her old friend.

"I have questions for you as well." he said. "But we shouldn't talk here. Follow me please."

Coco raised a brow at the world _please_, but said nothing, letting him lead her away from the apartment. They walked until the sounds of the city were muffled by trees spreading their branches wide and far, their leaves draping over them like a canopy. The sun blasted through a hole in the leaves and Coco stood in that spot, letting the rays warm her skin.

They faced each other. The wind was still, tense, and then it blew, ruffling the curls on Coco's head.

"May I ask how you knew him?" said the redhead.

"I met him when I was little." she began. "Back then I didn't know what he was, I was just glad for a friend. Then he left for Japan, so I came here, hoping I could find him."

"You two must have been very close." his green eyes were penetrating.

"Not exactly. I mean, I was only eight when I met him." she said, shrugging. "I was mostly curious about him." she looked at him, her eyes burning with questions.

"You shouldn't be." he said, slowly approaching her. "I think it's best if you forget all about Roka."

She backed away from him. "What? No – I refuse to forget! How can I, especially now?" she screeched. "I still have questions."

"Believe me, you won't after today." his eyes were hard and opaque. It made her nervous and she stepped back, suddenly afraid.

Coco felt something cold and wet sliding across her ankle. She looked down to see a green vine sliding up her leg. Her gasp was silenced by another vine covering her mouth. The vines kept her still and held her a few feet above the ground, wrapping round her like a giant snake. She struggled against them, but could barely move.

"Please calm down. I'm not going to hurt you." said the redhead, his voice as calm as ever. He turned to look at a nearby tree. "Hiei, I'll let you take over."

Coco's eyes widened and she fought harder. A man in black suddenly dropped to the ground, his eyes an eerie red. He tugged off the white bandana round his forehead and Coco screamed in her throat at the sight of a third eye there.

She sank her teeth into the vine. It slipped off her, hissing like a snake. "Don't come near me!" she shouted.

The stranger smirked. "I don't think you're in any position to make demands, human."

"Hiei," said the redhead in warning.

"Don't worry fox, I'll erase the girl's memory." the other assured him.

"What? No! No!" Coco panicked, struggling even harder against the vines. "You can't do that!"

"And why not?" asked Hiei, sounding amused. He watched her twist and turn against her constraints as if watching a bug struggling against the binding threads of a web.

"They're my memories! I deserve to keep them!" she shouted. She looked at the redhead, her eyes pleading, but his were closed.

"Sorry, we can't have you knowing the truth." he moved toward her until she could see nothing but black. The eye of his forehead began to pulse. Coco shut her eyes as if that would protect her from his invasion. _Don't, don't, don't. _She felt cold, numb, and with each passing moment she grew tired. Her body was still but tense, still desperate to escape.

Hiei suddenly stopped. The redhead looked up at him in confusion. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"For some reason, it's not working." Hiei frowned. "I'll just try harder then." he narrowed his eyes.

"Wait, don't!"

Their voices suddenly fell away, fading into incoherent sounds as she slipped into darkness.

* * *

_Author's Note: Ugh, I always feel as this one was written badly, but I really wanted to get it over with. The next chapter should be better. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it!  
_


	4. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or any of it's characters. _

_Enjoy! This one is a bit long by the way..._

* * *

**Chapter Four**

She woke suddenly, her eyes snapping open. Above her the leaves sprawled out across the sky. They looked golden in the sunlight. Coco could only stare at them, her mind a complete blank. She felt empty and hollow, weightless.

"The girl's awake." she suddenly heard someone say.

Coco quickly sat up at the voice, making her head spin. Minamino – or was it Kurama? - stood beside his shorter partner a few feet away on the peeking roots of a giant tree. The redhead looked at her with what she assumed as false concern.

"Are you all right? Do you remember anything?" he asked her.

She grimaced in disgust and jumped to her feet. "Yeah, I remember you tied me up! Who the hell do you think you are?" she hissed, pointing at him accusingly.

"Please calm down." his steady voice only enraged her.

"Absolutely not!" she shouted back. "You just tried to take away my memories! How – what – wait a minute, I still have my memories." she interrupted herself, her voice suddenly returning to normal. "Why didn't you do it?" she asked, looking up at the man with red eyes.

He frowned. "_He_ stopped me before I could finish the job." he huffed, tilting his head in Kurama's direction.

Coco could only stare at the redhead, her mouth hanging open. "Why?"

"It seems that your memory of Roka is too old to be removed. Hiei could not delve any deeper into your mind. Had he pushed any further, you could have suffered some negative side effects." he explained patiently, his fingers on his cheek. "I couldn't risk that."

Her eyes darted from one man to another. She felt tense, on edge, her legs spread out and her fists trembling at her sides. "So now what?" she snapped.

"Return back to your normal life," ordered Hiei. "and never speak of this to anyone."

"That's it?" she cried indignantly. "I deserve an explanation! Who..._what_ are you? Are you demons, like Roka?" in her eagerness she stepped closer to them, feeling as if she were pressing against the thin membrane of a new and undiscovered world, mysterious and strange, her fingers so close to breaking through the barrier.

She was met with only a deafening silence.

"You're not to going to tell me a thing, are you?" she didn't need an answer to that.

"I cannot." Kurama said firmly. Looking into his eyes, she could see the stubbornness there. He was like a rock, unwilling to budge.

"Fine." she said, clenching her teeth. "I'll just... go back to my normal life." she threw her hands up in the air and turned away. But after taking a few steps, she looked back over her shoulder, giving Kurama a hard and daring glare. Then she ran, ran away from all the answers, so close she could have almost touched them, but she knew one day she'd come back, come back and face the truth so deeply buried beneath the surface of his cool face.

_But isn't it better this way? _a voice in her head wondered as she thought more and more about what had just happened. She thought of how the vines had ensnared her, and the eerie pulse of the third eye on his forehead. Did she really want to know the story behind all that? Perhaps it _was_ best to return to her normal life. She thought about it, about attending classes and painting pictures and returning to her intrusive roommate. That was normal. That was safe. There was safety in being ignorant, in living a life that sucked the energy out of her. A life that was tedious and predictable.

But how could she return to _that_ life after tasting the intoxicating world hiding just beneath the surface?

* * *

It was definitely intoxicating, Coco decided. Of course, seeing Roka's little boy lying so still in a pool of his own black blood had been horrible and disgusting, but after the first sip, she felt compelled to have another.

And so, the next day Coco went back to the place where she had found Roka.

The glade looked different in the daylight. The sun shone through the yellow and green leaves and the grass was humming with insects. Coco felt like an intruder, her feet crushing the delicate blades of grass underneath and her breath too loud in the quiet. The trees watched her warily, flexing their branches. She moved slowly and carefully towards the spot where she had found him.

There was no indication that Roka had been there. It was as if the glade were wiped clean. No blood remained, no hint, no clue. Nothing. Coco rested her hand on the trunk of a tree and scanned the area, feeling her chest swell with frustration.

"Give me a sign, Roka." she whispered.

Only the wind answered, pressing against her so hard that she was sure it would lift her right off her feet.

* * *

The redhead paid her an unexpected visit a few days later. When she opened the door only to see him on the other side, all of her anger suddenly rushed back, making her head swim. She stretched her body against the door frame and placed one hand on her hip. Her fingers tapped against the wood.

"Well, well, if it isn't pretty boy," she snarled, "What do you want?"

"You're still upset I see," he said, unperturbed by her tone.

"Who is it?" Hana called from her spot on the bed. She strained her neck to peek over Coco's shoulder, her nose high in the air. She wished Coco didn't have such thick curls, for it blocked her view of her mysterious male visitor.

"It's no one." Coco stepped outside and shut the door to escape the questions and the possibility of an introduction. To Kurama – she thought of him as Kurama now, never Shuiichi – she hissed, "Why are you here?"

"Tell me, have you been to the forest lately?" he asked, a knowing look in his green eyes.

"You came here to _question_ me?" she hissed, folding her arms over her chest defensively.

"You have, haven't you?"

"Yes, I did go there." she admitted, crumbling quickly under his fierce gaze. A student passed them by and she paused, waiting for him to pass. When he had disappeared down the stairs, she continued, "Have you been watching me or something?"

"Not exactly." he said. "You shouldn't have been there. You promised that you would return to your normal life."

"I would, but I can't." she said, raising her voice slightly. Her eyes darted round the hallway – some of the doors were open, so she leaned closer to him to mutter, "Roka was my friend. I deserve to know how he -" she paused, "...what _happened_ to him. Can't you at least tell me that?" the anger was gone from her voice, replaced with a vulnerability that made her cringe.

He sighed and briefly shut his eyes. "It was a sickness." he told her after a moment, carefully choosing his words, for they were not alone.

"I see." Coco let out a shaky breath, turning her eyes away.

"I'm sorry." the genuine pity in his voice made her feel uncomfortable.

Coco brushed it away with a wave of her hand. "It's fine. I'll be fine." she took in a deep breath and looked up at him again. "Why can't you tell me more?" she pressed, her body still with anticipation.

Kurama glanced around without moving his head. "We shouldn't be talking about this here."

"You're right. Let's go to my studio."

* * *

Coco's studio was really just the bottom floor of an old abandoned building. It suited her better than the studios the school offered her. She didn't let Kurama inside though. They instead stood in the small backyard full of broken furniture and weeds and trash. Here it was quiet and reclusive, but if she screamed she was sure someone would hear.

"This is your studio?" he asked.

"Yes," she said, standing against the wall. "So, why won't you tell me?"

He smiled at her tenacity. "There are several reasons."

"Like?" she pressed.

"I'm not at liberty to say," he admitted. "You already know too much about the demon world."

"It's not like I'm going to tell anyone," she said. "I'm just curious."

"Curiosity killed the cat." he warned her.

"But satisfaction brought him back." she shot back.

His smile grew. "Perhaps. But I think in this case it's best not to delve any further. It's too dangerous."

She groaned. "Don't tell me what's dangerous or not. You sound like my mom." she crossed her arms behind her head, the action pulling up her shirt to expose her smooth tummy. Kurama politely glanced away. "Besides, I'll find out anyway, with or without your help."

"I suppose there's no stopping you." he said in resignation. "I'll warn you however. Continue to investigate and you will face the consequences."

Coco watched him walk away, his long red hair floating in the breeze. "Kurama!" she called out just as he was approaching the weathered fence.

He turned his head around and gave her a hard look. "Please, my human name is Shuiichi Minamino."

"Sorry," she said, bringing her arms down. "I was just wondering, you look human. I mean, you're strangely pretty, but you don't have any scales on you or fins. Why is that?"

He gave her that strange smile again, the kind that holds innumerable secrets. "Telling you that would mean telling you more about the demon world now, wouldn't it?"

"Damn, I was so sure you'd fall for it." she snapped her fingers in mock disappointment.

He chuckled. "I'll be seeing you Coco-san."

"Yeah, later pretty boy." she muttered, turning away.

Once he had disappeared Coco sank to the ground, hugging her knees to her chest. She closed her eyes, bowed her head, and sighed. She had a lot of work to do, but for now, she let herself rest.

* * *

_Author's Note: Okay, I really hope that the fact that the memory of Roka is too old to be erased isn't stupid – I only made it that way because I didn't want her memories to be erased, and it kind of made sense. But then again, I'm no expert in removing memories._

_It's hard being Kurama - he's too smart for me. Hopefully I'm writing an accurate portrayal of him. _

_Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it. The next chapter will be up soon. It's going to be harder to write because I'm not sure what's going to be in it. The past few chapters I've known what I would cover and with this one I only have a vague idea._


	5. Author's Note

Author's Note:

The title has changed from _The SecretKeeper_ to _Gift-Curse_.

Also, I have changed the first chapter yet again. I promise this will be for the last time. Sorry for any confusion.

There was a fifth chapter for awhile but then I deleted it to rewrite it. This may take longer than usual, but it will up!

Anyway, thank you for the reviews, they really keep me going. It's nice to know what people think about my story.

And I'm off to rewrite the fifth chapter.

Sigh.


	6. Chapter 5

_Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or any of its characters. I do, however, own Coco and Roka._

_Author's Note: I'm so sorry, but the beginning of the first chapter has been changed yet again. It continuously changes as I try to make sense of this entire story, but hopefully this will be the last time._

_I've raised the rating from T to M because of what's about to happen._

_I hope you enjoy this chapter._

* * *

**Chapter Five**

.

.

Despite her earlier declaration, Coco found herself immersed in normal life as her focus shifted to her coursework. It kept her mind off of...other things.

.

.

_His eyes sparked a warmth in her belly that spread and drowned her with its intensity._

.

.

At night she could no longer ignore it, and her thoughts would return to that dream, both terrible and wonderful.

.

.

_He caught her in his embrace, and he held her chin in a soft but firm grip._

.

.

She had only dreamt of him once, the night after they had met at her studio. Now, a week later, he had settled into her head like dust, blurring everything.

.

.

_His lips softly touched hers, again and again, until she opened her mouth, and he dove in until she moaned in delight and sank her fingers into his red hair._

.

.

The young girl bit her lip and smothered her face in her pillow. She didn't want to think of him like that. How had he entered her dreams in such an intimate way?

.

.

_She pressed herself against him, wanting more but too afraid to chase after it. What was he like, beneath those clothes? Unable to resist, she slid one hand underneath his shirt, and felt how hot his skin was._

.

.

Coco felt uncomfortably warm. She clutched her pillow in frustration as the memory crashed down on her, making her squirm under the sheets.

.

.

_She insistently tugged at his belt as she kissed his neck. He let out a soft moan that made her shudder. _

_"Do that again." she commanded. _

_When he refused, she touched him _**_there_**_ and smirked against his slick skin as he unwillingly groaned in pleasure._

.

.

Coco quickly sat up and searched wildly for some sort of distraction. She found her headphones and plugged her ears, blasting the music loud enough to drown out her thoughts, but low enough as to not wake up her roommate.

.

.

* * *

Coco was cautious for the next few days, staying away from any secluded area and spending less time at her studio. It upset her that she was putting so much time and effort into avoiding him, but she couldn't bear the thought of seeing the tall redhead again.

As the days rolled on, each one as uneventful as the last, Coco finally began to relax and let herself believe that the he would never appear. Her desire to discover the secrets of the demons was still strong and insistent, and it drove her to take some sort of action. She took a safe approach and visited the libraries and bookstores, picking up books that could offer her any insight on the mysterious world she was so enamored with.

She also kept her eyes and ears open for any mysterious happenings. She sank into the background, watching and waiting. For a long time, there was nothing. But she was patient. She knew for a fact now that demons existed, that there were strange creatures lurking in the shadows – she just had to look carefully.

* * *

One late day, as the night was stretching across the sky, Coco was exiting her studio when she suddenly paused. It was quiet, the kind of quiet that smothered her and made her uneasy. The studio was caught between the city and the wilderness, and she peered into the dark gaps between the spindly trees, looking like skeletons in the fading light.

"Is someone there?" Coco needed to hear her own voice, but the moment she spoke she wish she hadn't. Still, she couldn't keep herself from continuing. "Hello?"

The wind suddenly whipped at her face, smelling of the sea. Coco shut her eyes at the sting, and when she opened them she gasped at seeing a white face in the shadows of the forest, fish-like and terrible, with large black eyes. The face twisted as its lips stretched into a cold and feral smile.

"You..." an arm reached out for her, long and white and covered in glittering scales. Coco gave out a little cry in her throat as a finger touched the bridge of her nose, cold and wet against her skin.

"I'll...kill you!" the thing screeched, the sound piercing through her. Coco opened her mouth to scream, but the sound died in her throat as the cold white fingers grabbed her neck and squeezed. She clawed at the white arm and kicked her legs furiously. The white creature laughed, a cold and shrill sound, and tightened her grip. Her laughter was cut short as she sensed something – they were no longer alone. Snarling at the interruption, the creature dropped the human and darted away.

It was impossibly quiet again. Coco scrambled away from the trees, clutching the fence for dear life, her breath coming out in short pants and her hands trembling. Over the sound of her drinking in air, she could hear voices, loud and boisterous. A group of college students passed her by, the boys cursing and the girls laughing and squealing in a way that made Coco want to throw heavy objects at them.

Once their voices faded, Coco managed to stand, though her legs were trembling. She clutched the fence for a moment before she began to walk, and then she ran, down the bare streets and past the empty buildings looking like ghosts in the night, until she finally reached the safety of her room, still quivering like a leaf.

* * *

It never occurred to Coco to turn back after that night, to return to a normal life and forget about the white creature. Instead, she thought of it constantly, and she sought out Kurama for answers. It was difficult to find him, since she had no idea where he lived or what he school he attended.

Surprisingly, it was Hana who pointed her in the right direction. The girl was a gossip, and after spotting the beautiful stranger she had found out his name and the name of his school, among other things. So, after Coco had finished class one afternoon, she dropped by the university. After asking around, she finally found him in one of the labs just as he was about to leave.

"You! I need to talk to you!" she pointed at him, nearly poking him in the his chest.

"It's nice to see you again, Coco-san." he said with a kind smile. "Though I'm surprised to see you here, of all places."

"You're quite popular with the ladies – though I have no idea _why_ – and they told me you were here." she said in a rush before taking in a breath. "But that's not why I'm here," she lowered her voice, though they were alone in the room, "A demon tried to kill me the other night."

His eyes hardened as he adopted a serious tone. "Where?"

"Near the studio." she hissed, crossing her arms. "She looked like Roka."

"Can you show me the place?" he asked, slipping off his lab coat to hang it up on the wall. Coco nodded and they left the room together, Kurama taking the lead.

* * *

_Author's Note: Okay, I know that in almost every Yu Yu Hakusho story there's always a demon after the original character, but I assure you, the reasons behind this demon attack is completely different from any other reason I've read about. So I don't feel bad about making this happen. _

_This was horrible to write! Honestly, I wanted to quit, it just seemed too hard. I'm not sure what happened, but I feel as if the fire underneath my butt has been reduced to ashes. But I'm determined - I am not going to abandon this story. _

_Hopefully you guys enjoyed it. Thanks for reading!_


	7. Chapter 6

_Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or any of its characters. _

_Author's Note: _

_One reviewer asked me how Coco knew Kurama's real name. If you look carefully at chapter three, Hiei calls Kurama by his real name, thinking that it wouldn't matter since he's about to erase her memory. I think he only said his name twice, but I guess Coco has great memory in the face of panic. _

_I also wanted her to know his real name at that point so that she could begin to separate the two identities: to her, the name Shuiichi belongs to the sweet boy who helped her burn Roka's body, and the name Kurama refers to the one who was cold and detached when he trapped her with his vines. Hope that clears that up!_

_To that particular reviewer (IrishSoul, I believe), thank you for asking me a question concerning the details of the story. I've re-written this more times than I can count, and so things can get pretty confusing in my head and that often shows on paper. So if anyone sees anything else that confuses them, even if it's the tiniest thing, please let me know. This is all a huge, scary experiment for me and I'm bound to make mistakes (thus the constant revision of the first chapter intro...).  
_

_Wow this was long. And so, on with the story!_

* * *

**Chapter Six**

"There." Coco said, pointing to the invisible line between the trashed backyard and the line of trees. She stood at the fence, several feet away, in the patch of sunlight that was gradually shrinking. "She looked like a fish, like Roka."

Kurama knelt before the trees and gently touched the earth, as if stroking it.

"What are you doing?" Coco asked, slightly irritated at being left in the dark.

"Trying to track the demon's scent." he rose to stand. "I can only smell it here. It's as if the demon simply vanished into thin air."

Coco experimentally sniffed the air. "I don't smell a thing."

He looked back at her in amusement, leaving the young girl to feel excluded, and consequently, further annoyed. "No," he said, "I wouldn't expect you to."

"And what do you mean by _that_?" she huffed. "Can't you just tell me what's going on?"

"I would," he assured her gently. "But I'm not exactly sure myself. It's unusual for the demon you described to reveal itself to you. In fact, when you mentioned that you knew Roka from when you were younger, I had my suspicions."

"What do you mean?"

He faced her now, his face mostly in darkness.

"Roka belongs to a type of demon that is rarely seen, so it surprised me when you said that you once knew him. As you may already know, he was water demon. Their kind prefers to live a life of secrecy, retreating from the outside world. Why they chose to break that pattern now, and only for you, I do not know."

_He's just as confused as I am._ Coco suddenly thought as she watched his pensive face. Perhaps he wasn't _as_ confused as she was, but he was slightly puzzled, and it surprised her. She was so sure that he had all the answers. But then she realized, maybe no one had all of the answers.

"Anyway, there's nothing that can be done now," he continued, snapping her from her thoughts. "We'll just have to wait and be careful. I think it's best if you don't return here anytime soon."

"That's a given." Coco muttered.

"I'll walk you home if you wish." he offered.

"Wait, aren't you going to tell me more?" she said quickly, feeling the opportunity for information rapidly slipping past her. She couldn't find the words to describe what she wanted, so she just looked at him, her eyes wide and hopeful.

"I think that would be best, considering what you've just experienced." the words came from his lips, but Coco hardly believed them. She heard them, but they were just sounds without meaning, empty and weightless. Perhaps she was too tired to appreciate the magnitude of those words.

"It's getting late, I should walk you home, just as a precaution." she heard him say.

"God, you're so overbearing." she yawned. Secretly she appreciated his offer. The sun was gone now, and the trees once again reminded her of elongated skeletons. She didn't think she could walk home in the darkness without suffering from a nervous breakdown, not when the memory of the white face haunted her.

They walked side by side, with a large gap between them. In the silence thoughts of her dream bombarded Coco and she outwardly gasped, though she attempted to muffle the sound with her hand. Still, Kurama turned to her.

"What is it?"

"Oh, nothing!" Coco said quickly, avoiding his eyes. How could she look into this green orbs when just the other night they had looked at her with so much...hunger?

Coco felt her face grow warm at the memory. Kurama glanced down at her but didn't comment.

* * *

The two sat in her room; Coco on her bed, legs folded and hands wrapped round her ankles, Kurama in her desk chair, legs crossed. Hana was gone for the weekend, so Coco felt safe to talk here, with the door shut.

"So, no one's seen a water demon before?" she asked.

"Very few have seen that kind of water demon. There are variations of course." Kurama explained.

This lead her to more questions, which she shot at him with surprising speed. She demanded long and lengthy answers, drinking in every detail he offered her. Talking about it like this, in her small room, safe and warm, was like talking about the weather, detached and without passion. At least, whenever she spoke her voice was steady and calm. His was too, but she noticed that he felt the words in a way she didn't, understanding the weight of them in a way she never could.

He told her of the Demon World, and of demons in general. Afterwards the young girl leaned back, resting her head on the window frame, and let out a satisfied sigh. Finally...something made sense.

But then again, so many other things didn't.

"I don't understand why she attacked me." she said, her voice soft and fragile.

"Perhaps she's Roka's mother." Kurama conjectured.

At this Coco lifted her head. "Demons have mothers?"

"Yes." Kurama answered patiently.

The idea made Coco uncomfortable - it made the demons seem less...demonic. Then she thought of Roka, but to her, he wasn't a demon. He was just her friend.

"Why would Roka's mother attack me?" she wondered aloud.

"I wonder the same thing."

Coco lowered her head so that all Kurama could see were her dark curls. She ran her fingers through her hair, thinking hard about what to do next. She had the general information now, but she needed to know more. How was she going to find out what this demon wanted from her?

"Maybe I should go back to the studio again." she said from behind her curtain of curls.

"What for?"

She raised her head to look at him. Her brown eyes were steady, and she spoke in an even voice. "Maybe the demon will try to find me again. I can find out what she wants from me."

He gave her a questioning look. "You're willing to place yourself in danger?"

"Yeah. But, you'll have to be there with me." she added. "I'm assuming that you can fight?"

"Yes, I can fight if need be." Kurama told her. "But I don't think that's a wise choice. You could -"

But at this point, Coco became distracted. Kurama had briefly closed his eyes and tilted his head in such a way that when he opened his eyes again, he looked up at her through thick lashes. The simple action, lasting only a few seconds, was somehow intimate, reminding her of her dream. The images came rushing back, and Coco groaned, burying her face in her hands.

"What's wrong?" Kurama asked, standing at her surprising behavior.

"Nothing." she spoke into her hands. "Nothing, it's nothing!"

"You're acting strangely Coco-san, are you sure nothing is wrong?" he continued, gently pressing her for an answer.

"It's nothing." she repeated, lifting her head and wiping her hair back. "Oh my god, it's like ten and I have work to do! I think you should go." she quickly stood up and waited for him to leave, even though she desperately wanted to push him out the door herself.

Instead, he simply stood there, his eyes questioning. Coco couldn't bring herself to look directly at him. It was suddenly too hot in the room and she nervously tugged at the straps of her dress.

"All right." he finally gave in, but he didn't leave until he had given her his phone number and address just in case.

"Stay away from the studio." he added.

"Yeah, sure, bye!" and Coco slammed the door shut. She pressed her back against the door and shut her eyes. He was there again, hot and sweaty and moaning.

"This is so stupid. I am not attracted to that man!" she said aloud, pressing her back against the door. "He's like a girl!"

She kept this thought in mind as she prepared for bed, and was thankful for no dreams.

* * *

Coco didn't want to see Kurama again, but she did want to see the white creature. She decided it was best to hang around the studio late into the night, only leaving when it was so dark that she could barely see her hands. The nights were quiet and tense; she stayed inside, climbing up to the abandoned floors and watching the trees below through the glassless windows. She wasn't sure what she would do when the demon came, but she decided not to think about that part.

This dragged on for five days. It was Friday now, and Hana had left for the weekend to stay with her parents. Coco returned to the empty room after a very long night, rubbing her eyes and yawning. She didn't bother turning on the light and simply dropped her weighty flashlight on the floor. It landed with a loud clunk. Coco looked up and saw her.

She was gray and wrinkled in the harsh light of the outside street lamp. Only one of her eyes was visible, large and round and black, burning. The creature was swaying on her feet and held her mouth open. She took in large gulps of air. Coco ridiculously thought of someone drowning - that was what the creature reminded her of. Someone slowly sinking into the black abyss, though they fought and kicked and pushed.

The young girl could only watch as the creature sank to the floor and flopped like a fish. Her movements slowly stilled, until she gave one last feeble turn of her head, her mouth open wide.

"Roka..." it was a question, a call, a pitiful noise that made Coco want to cry, because she knew then that this was Roka's mother, dying on the floor before her.

* * *

_Author's Note: It's done! This took me forever, and I'm still not very sure about it. I know that these events are meant to happen, but I'm not sure about how I wrote them. I might have to edit this chapter, if I do, I'll just put up an author's note.  
_

_I hope you enjoyed it. Honestly, I didn't think I would ever finish this, but I did, so I'm proud. I'm sorry it took so long but it was a struggle even looking at this page. _

_I am now excited about the story again! However, the next chapter probably won't be up for some time. I'm a bit busy with real life at the moment. But the next chapter will be up!_

_Thank you, and again, if you have any questions, let me know._

_Also, keep your eyes open for any edits to any of the previous chapters. _


	8. Author's Note Part 2

**Author's Note:**

I'm so sorry. I am really, really sorry. I thought I could continue this story, but there's just so much wrong with it that I can't. I'm sorry if this upsets you, but I am working on a Kurama/Coco story. It's the same characters, different plot - hopefully a much more interesting one.

So the title of this story will change, and soon the chapters will be deleted.

Again, I'm sorry. Thank you for all the reviews and all the support, I really appreciate it. I just feel that if I rewrite it, it'll be even better than what I have now.

Thank you!


	9. Author's Note Part 3

**Author's Note:**

You guys must be so sick of author notes by now...heh.

Few quick updates:

1. I am revising. So please don't think that I've abandoned this project, because I haven't. I'm working on it daily.

2. I need a deadline, so here it is: _August 31st_. I will upload the new first chapter by August 31st. To you, that might seem like a long time to wait, but to me, it's just around the corner.

3. Thank you for the reviews and the favorites and the story alerts. I know I say this all the time, but honestly, they keep me going when I want to give up.

Remember, patience is a virtue.

See you in August!


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